Resurrection Season

We are in the midst of the Easter season. I've thought about it a lot more this year than in past years. I don't know why, but Jesus' resurrection has been on my mind more frequently this season than in past seasons.

Unfortunately, i've been forced to ask myself some difficult questions.

Mainly this: Do I live like the resurrection really happened? Is my relationship with Jesus one that believes he is ALIVE and moving or one that believes he died and that was it?

Does my time with him equate to one of a living friend, or one of an impactful person that died? Its been an odd question for me to answer. My mind is always so active in studying the past, the biblical times, the life of Jesus on this earth, that I often forget He is still alive and moving in this world. I spend so much time thinking of how to teach and live the things he taught 2000 years ago, that I often forget (or at least ignore, or only think of subconsciously) the things he is doing and teaching now.

What about your life? Does it reflect that Jesus is alive? That the tomb is empty?

Love is in the Air

We spent the evening at a wedding tonight. Two people we know from college, one of which Jenny keeps decent contact with were getting married tonight.

Of the weddings i've attended, this one had some unique things that i really enjoyed. The tables were full of plates of peanuts, m&ms and hot tomales as we sat down. They were also sprinkled with hershey kisses. The drinks (Arizona Iced Tea, Snapple, Pop, etc.) were serve yourself from giant coolers, and Famous Daves catered. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I even left with a container of m&ms that i made from a cup (for mashed potatoes) and took to enjoy on the ride home.

11 year old observations

It can be pretty amusing to watch 11 year old girls play soccer. It is an age where a lot of girls are still pretty scared of the ball, so screeching was abundant.

It is also an age where the size of a girl can vary so greatly. You could almost pick which team was going to win, just on the size of their players, something you can't normally do with soccer, but could easily be done with today's games.

I'm continually amazed at how much easier it is to ref some of these younger games. When people are scared of the ball, they are also scared of hard contact with each other. The combination of the two things leaves most infractions on the game easy to call.

I'll be looking forward to seeing some games that are closer though. Tonight's games were 10-1 and 9-1. It wasn't much in the area of entertainment.

Shiny New Quarter

The new quarter has begun. My five classes of punishment will now ensue for 10 weeks. I've been to three of the five so far (two tomorrow) and only have 4 books I already have to read by next Tuesday. I guess I really am a glutton for punishment.

I'm excited about most of my classes this quarter, except for that 2nd Church History one.

I also get to ref again tomorrow night. That should be interesting after 8 hours of classes. I'll be ready to run around like i've never been ready to before. I even bought the Red Bull tonight.

Raw Pole

What feeling/s come to mind when you hear the word "evangelism?"

If that isn't a word familiar to your vocabulary, what feeling do you first get when you hear that a Christian is trying to convert a Non-Christian to their belief system?

A follow up question to consider might be, how do you define "the gospel message?"

I had an interesting conversation after having to answer these questions on a worksheet in class this afternoon. My answers were different than most, but not unique. The conversation was edifying and clarifying to me.

Who gets to chose?

We had an interesting discussion topic tonight in my spiritual formations class.

Our conclusion came to this, when it comes to deciding what the Bible says about a certain topic, it is all about who gets to chose the verses.

We talked about examples like marriage, which you could have the Bible say that marriage is a last resort and a distraction from ministry, or that it is the best representation of our relationship with God. Both are biblical, its all about who gets to pick the verses.

Faith or Works, depends on who picks the verses. The Bible puts importance on both.

What is the "gospel" message? Depends on which verses you pick, there is no one solid answer.

I was glad to see how shocking this realization was to some of the students. Jenny and I try hard to point people to an understanding that the Bible says more than what they've been taught in tradition, that there is more to religion that heaven and hell.

It's all about who gets to pick the verses.

Life of a Story

It's amazing how impactful stories can be. Today at church, we had a lady give a testimony who attends our church occasionally and the Chinese church that meets in our building frequently.

Her story was one of God's goodness. Her story is one i never hope to have to experience, nor would i want anyone to have to experience. It is amazing to me how memorable stories are verse sermons.

We are a people who love stories, who live stories, and who appreciate good stories.

That bodes good for me sometimes, because i like to tell stories, and have a pretty good memory of stories.

Most of all, i encourage you all to tell your story. Not necessarily write it, or even tell it to me, but your life is important, and your story will benefit others just by them hearing it.

Share yourself with someone else.

I Get to Keep My Pride

With Ohio State's win tonight, and Kansas' loss, I secured my tournament pool between me and Jenny. It is good to know that I don't have to sulk in depression over something she never cared about.

Here's to rooting for her to win her work bracket so that she gets a free lunch.

Go Tarheels. (for her bracket)

Moving Experiences Forward

I was supposed to ref my first two soccer games this coming Thursday.

I got asked today to ref three of them tomorrow afternoon. It's time for me to start making money again. Woohoo!

So tomorrow is my reffing debut. I'm hoping to give out at least a red card per game, but likely won't have to even pull the cards out of my pocket.

Here's to hoping some 10 year old kid uses highly inappropriate language. (I'm being very sarcastic)

Talk Radio

Throughout the football season i listen to local sports talk radio to get any tips i can for my fantasy football adventures. During that time, i don't listen to much else in my car, so i hear about all of the sports.

This last winter, like December time, two particular hosts were excited that the Gophers got rid of their coach and were dreaming to get either Rick Majerus or Tubby Smith as their new coach. They put these two in the dreaming category and others in the realistic category figuring that Minnesota did not have the pull or the money for either of these two.

Today, we find out that Tubby Smith has left KY and will be coming to MN. I wasn't as shocked as many, because months ago, i heard someone predict it so it was always in the back of my head.

I think it is a great step up for the Gophers, and will have reason to at least pay attention to their program now, but am more concerned with where KY will get their next coach from.

If you don't follow college basketball, this post probably meant little to you. I make no apology for that.

Destruction Is Fun

Not only is destruction fun, but it is much easier than building. This week, i have a friend (the one i helped frame his basement) who is turning stairs in his house. His basement and attic stairs both run through the center of his house, and it will open up his house to turn them 90 degrees to be flat against a wall.

That's this weeks project while i'm off from school.

We got a lot of the destruction done today. Tomorrow we have to build the new stairs. Should be lots of fun.

Here I Am, Send Me

Isaiah 6:8:
"Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" Then I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'"

This is a powerful verse found in the scriptures when Isaiah is getting called into his prophetic ministry. It is often quoted by people affirming that they are willing to serve, willing to go, willing to be God's tool with their lives.

I couldn't help but reflect on this verse tonight. It wasn't drawn to me while I was reading (since i'm actually reading through the book of John and the Psalms), but was brought to my head as I struggled with my life in its current form.

There are times I miss being a pastor. Times I miss teaching groups of people. Times I miss "leading" a group of people forward, both as a group and as individuals. It isn't even that i think any of these things have stopped, i still believe i'm teaching people, still believe i'm leading certain groups, and still believe i'm helping individuals move forward, but some of the structure is missing. Some of the blatant, I'm your tool, use me here and now is missing from my confidence. I want to be used again. I want to be sent. My heart cries, God, here i am, send me. Not an acceptance of a goal, but a plea for an opportunity.

There are things I want to lead. I know some people that I want to show how to have a daily relationship with God through prayer and his word. I want to show them what it looks like to fill themselves of him daily, not because I do it perfectly, or because i have it figured out well, but because it is important to me, i've found methods that work, and i'm comfortable with the uniqueness that will be each person's individual relationship.

There are people who I want to draw into a deeper place of commitment, through group times of fasting and celebration. I want to see Christ move in people's and my own life as we surrender all to Him and trust on Him alone. I want to lead people in this who are scared to do it on their own, or don't know what kinds of benefits fasting might provide.

It's not really that i want to "lead." I simply want to be God's tool. I see so many around me who I know want to grow closer to God, want to have a more meaningful personal relationship with Him, but haven't moved closer. They are either comfortable where they are now, don't think they have the time, or simply don't know what to do. I want to be a tool for those people. A resource that helps people see God more clearly. A life that draws people into a deeper relationship with Christ than they could have imagined.

I want it to be true of my own life, and i want my life to leak over into others.

But I have some hiccups. I will not force myself on anyone who has not invited me in. I'm not simply going to tell "person x", "hey, i really think you should read God's word more." I will help anyone who invites me to do so, with the understanding that I can't change things, just might be able to help. I would love to tell people more openly where I think they can grow, but can't seem to figure out to deal with the fact that i've somehow judged them. That i've assumed things about their relationship with God and their life that I have no right to evaluate. Once they invite me in, i'll be as open as blunt as i feel necessary (tactfully i hope) to help them move forward, but won't cross that line without either invitation (most likely) or God's direct command (most drastically).

For now, I simply cry...God, here I am, send me. Send me to someone who I can draw closer to you. Send me to someone whose time spent with me will encourage their faith. Send me to a place where your name is glorified. Send me to someone willing to struggle. Send me to someone who wants more. Send me to someone who is trying to figure out what it is all about. Send me to someone who just doesn't know how to organize their life around you and your teachings.

I'd even be happy if God simply sent someone to me. Someone to ask, "Nate, what's your story? What has helped you grow closer to God in your life? What kind of things might I do to experience God more vibrantly?" Someone to say "God, I want what he has. Use him to teach me. Use him to help me move forward." Someone to say "Nate, what do you see about my life that you think i need to let go of." Simply someone to say, "Nate, lets have lunch, i'd love to talk to you about a couple things."

Send Me.

Examples Matter

I'm 26, married and have a college degree. It won't be long until I have a Master's degree. But I can't outgrow some things.

My parents still teach me things with their lives. They might not know it, they might not be choosing their actions because of it, but the example they set helps me to know what the world should be like.

Both of my grandfathers are physically unable. What they are physically unable to do differs, and the extent of their dependency differs, but both of them need outside assistance to live daily life. Here is the funny thing, I've never heard a complaint that either of them didn't "deserve" something.

It isn't hidden that things are different for my parents. When they go home to "visit," their trips aren't as social or relaxing as they used to be. In fact, their trips constitute lots of work. But they haven't stopped. They haven't chosen not to go. They drop whatever they can to be where they are needed. I don't hear them saying that this is something that they "have" to do, nor do I hear them say that this is something they "want" to do. Their arms are only twisted by their insides. By the fact that they are human, and they see another human, whom they have unexplainable love for, in need.

I haven't ever talked openly with my parents about some of the things I observe. I see the tension they have in figuring out how to help their parents as they live in a different state. How to balance the tension of family back home, where they grew up, and family out here, where they live. Sons vs. fathers. Daughters-in-law vs. siblings. My parents live in this tension. That inspires me. Not because they have figured out some great way to avoid it and solve every problem, but because as I watch them I know this for sure, THEIR LIVES ARE NOT ABOUT THEMSELVES. They chose other people. They actually feel bad when they have to ask one of their siblings to step in somewhere they can't.

They don't understand what it would be like not to help. I know my brother feels the same way as I do when I think about my future. I don't have a choice. Life isn't about me. It will always be about my spouse, and my family. It will be my job to live in tension trying to figure out how to best show love and meet needs of the people I can't describe my love for. I don't look forward to that tension, but I'm not afraid of it. I've got great examples to follow.

If you're a parent of someone and you are reading this, remember one thing...

No matter your child's age, or their current status of connectedness to you, your example still makes a difference in their life. They are still watching and learning.

Random Scripture Discussion

I just finished a class with a professor who did his doctoral work on the scripture we'll read below. It is one of the most unusual, and understudied passages in all the Bible. It was for that reason that this professor did his P.H.D. on the subject. We had a wonderful class discussion on the topic, and it enlivens my mind to think about it again.

However, instead of just giving you the conclusions my professor came to (like i did to my wife) i'm curious as to what meanings you might find in these verses. I'm looking for any kind of response, the one that took time to do further study, and the ones that are just a random spewing of initial thoughts.

Here are the verses as written in the NASB version I have sitting on the table next to me.

Matthew 27:51-54

"And behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; and the earth shook and the rocks were split. The tombs were opened, and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised; and coming out of the tombs after His resurrection they entered the holy city and appeared to many. Now the centurion, and those who were with him keeping guard over Jesus, when they saw the earthquake and the things that were happening, became very frightened and said, 'Truly this was the Son of God!'"

Read surrounding context as you find necessary to help with your analysis.

If you don't have a Bible near you, and want the surrounding context, here is a link to all of chapter 27. This link is for the NIV version.

Real Feelings

It seems too often that we trust what we feel to be real more readily than we trust what we know to be real. It is easier to say we are loved when we "feel" it than when we acknowledge it as a truth. Why is this?

So often our feelings let us down. I can remember teenagers telling me they felt they were in love, or married couples deciding to live by those feelings instead of just acknowledging and demanding love from themselves.

Most often in my life, sin happens when I don't "feel" God's presence, as the times I feel it, I'm pretty good at not sinning. Funny thing is, I know the truth. That should be enough. I should be able to live by the truth I know, not just the truth I feel.

How do you get something to cross that line? Some things have. I know the support of my wife, or my family without having to feel it. I can not have seen my parents for weeks, and the support they have for me still remains very real in my life, regardless of if I feel it or not. What does it take to make something cross into the category of real, regardless of feeling? I want so much to live my life according to what I know is real, but too often, I live my life only according to what feels real. I'm missing out.

Hebreak Time

Hebrew is now on a break for six months until I take my old testament classes. On another positive note, my wife isn't ahead of me in our bracket challenge, and KY won their game.

I couldn't have asked for much more today, but I did. I got buffalo wings at a sports bar for dinner and a new batch of strawberry jello for dessert.

Life is good.

The Longest Day

I spent almost the entire day working on my paper for my Gospels class. 12 pages on 4 verses from Luke. It was quite the project. I knew I was in for it when 3 sentences into my paper I had already put down 7 footnotes. It was quite the project and I'm glad it is over. At least it was a project where the work was beneficial and not just a menial task. I feel like an expert on Luke 21:1-4 now.

Outside of that, and during it, I kept the basketball ticker up on the computer all day. I missed a game here and there, but nothing that affected more than my first round picks, so I'm satisfied with the day's games. Hopefully I can continue that tomorrow, where I get to watch them all day.

One Hebrew final (tomorrow morning) and a Church History final (Monday afternoon) and I'm done for the quarter.

March Madness, Doubled

The first kind of March madness entering my life this week is in the form of my 8 page commentary and exegesis paper on Luke 21:1-4. As that madness winds down (it's due Friday morning at 10) I'll live in another state of madness.

NCAA Men's basketball. My bracket is all filled out an I've entered it into one pool. A pool with everything on the line. It is a pool with only two people, me and my wife. Head to head.

On the line... my ego. I made Jenny fill out a bracket. She probably couldn't tell you who her final four teams are without me looking it up for her. She has nothing invested. But if she wins, my ego will be crushed.

It is easily the most I've ever had at stake in a tournament pool, and I've been in some involving money before. Lucky for me, besides my class and paper that will force me to miss watching the games tomorrow (I'll have a ticker up on my computer) I will be out of class during the rest of the times that games are on air. Woohoo!

Continued Clarification

This quarter at Bethel has been one of clarification for me. Through conversations with and observations of professors, I've learned more about what i would enjoy spending my time doing.

Though I know I would enjoy teaching Christian classes at a college level, that academic lifestyle would not be something I could do full time. I would love to teach classes as an adjunct, or as a side job, but have been continually drawn back to a desire to full-time church ministry.

I continue to get excited about being a senior pastor someday, specifically about the preaching aspect, but even a lot of the strategy, planning, and people development is exciting to me. I'm a problem solver by nature and long to use that, and if there is one place that has problems, it's the church.

There are still parts of that job (senior pastor) that don't excite me, but the use of my gifts and the calling on my heart is to seek this type of employment in the future.

Now it is just about getting me ready for such a task.

Thanks Sam

Today Uncle Sam revealed how much money we overpaid him this last year.

Woohoo. Refunds are fun.

Even more fun, my wife gathered all the forms, and someone else compiled all the data onto the correct places. When you have a housing allowance for being clergy, paying for this to be done is well worth the money spent.

Thanks Nancy.

Mourning Decisions

I'm making the decision now to go to bed instead of work on my paper. The plan is to get up and work on it before class. Right now, it feels like the right decision.

When my alarm goes off in the morning, I guarantee I will be mourning this decision. Lucky for me, if I snooze a little bit and end up not finishing the paper before class time, I get the grace of the paper technically being due by midnight, submitted electronically, instead of the old fashioned hand it in by hard copy method.

Technology is wonderful.

Did you steal from me?

Someone decided to steal an hour of my life tonight. I'm not happy about it. I will miss that hour. That hour was going to be an important one for me.

I'm sure that in that hour I would have accomplished a lot of my homework, cleaned a lot of the house, written a life changing piece of poetry, and exercised my body into the optimal condition.

Unfortunately, somebody stole it from me and all I'll have to show for it is a mind and body that needs an hour to catch back up.

Glutton for Punishment

Most of my fellow seminary students work, at least part time, and many full time. They already don't know how I can take 4 classes at a time (3 is considered full time). I guess I'm a glutton for punishment... not because I've taken four and have decided to continue that path, but because I decided next quarter to take 5.

I actually had to use my GPA to convince the registrar that I could handle it as they originally thought I didn't understand how many classes my addition would give me. After convincing them that I was handling four fine, and now that I'm done with the one that was the most work (Hebrew), I don't think adding a 5th would be too much. They wished me luck and agreed to let me try.

We'll see how it goes.

Midnight Madness

I feel young again. I'm going to go watch a movie premier on a Thursday night/Friday morning at 12:00 to see the first showing available to me.

I've got class tomorrow. I should be nice and tired for it.

At least I took the time to get my homework done before going to the movie, in which way i don't feel young, because 4 years ago, that would have been enough reason to stay up all night, but now that i've matured some (though that progress may be slim) I took the time to do the homework earlier.

1 Down

For all realistic purposes, I finished one of my classes today as I spent the afternoon reading an entire book, of which the report isn't due until next week.

I actually worked ahead. How rare.

I have just over a week left with this quarter of classes before I begin a new class schedule. Unfortunately for me, Church History continues with a second course again next quarter. Other than that, my classes will be exciting again for next quarter.

Number 1 of 60 or So

I took my reffing certification class this past weekend, and scored the highest on the test of everyone that took it. There were about 60 or so people, and I was the only person to miss just one question. That was exciting for me.

Overall, I didn't learn much from the class. Playing for 20 years helps you to get the rules down pretty well.

The only thing I learned that I hadn't known is that it is technically impossible to score on your own team from any direct kick. Any goal kick or direct kick that your team kicks directly in their own goal, is legally then just a corner kick for the other team, and not a goal that counts against you.

Other than that, the rules are all pretty straightforward.

Not a Good Babysitter

Every once in a while I wonder what I would look like if my appearance were different. The only times I get to actually see some of these things is when I haven't shaved for a while. Most times when this happens, I experiment with some weird form of facial hair while I'm shaving just to show it to my wife and myself.



These are often humorous and creepy looks.



The one below I have labeled "Don't let me around your children!"



With just a mustache I don't look right. I don't know how Magnum P.I. does it.

I've never felt so unattractive, and don't worry, its gone!

Potato Meal

I sometimes get crazy ideas, that are so enticing they must at some point be accomplished.

Things like lazy day, and inside day, and whopper day.

Last night, I created a new one that I will accomplish at some point.

I call it "Potato Meal."

I like potatoes almost any way they are cooked. For that reason, I sometime want a meal that consists of mashed potatoes, a baked potato, cream of potato soup, hash browns, and tator-tots.

It may not sound good to you, but I'm gonna do it someday.

What's Missing?

It's weird for me to miss church. I haven't had a reason to need to miss church in a long time, but tomorrow, I have the second day of my soccer reffing certification that takes place at the time of church.

That's weird for me.

I'll actually miss it.

Jello Surprise

Jenny and I only cook when inspired. Most nights, the microwave is all we need, but on the occasion where someone is motivated (today Jenny) we make more food than any two people should ever have.

Tonight included our own double batch of special strawberry jello. It was wonderful. A double batch for the two of us will last us quite some time, but lucky for us, strawberry jello is amazing.

Drawing People In

I'll admit, I love a good action movie as much as anybody. Lots of destruction and such.

I occasionally watch things that I would never want in real life.

But what is with network shows advertising to the "naughty" side of life.

Desperate Housewives has an ad airing this week which talks about how all seven "deadly sins" will be commited in their next episode. You wouldn't want to miss people being this "naughty" would you?

I just don't get it.

Detail Oriented?

Do you ever wonder how detailed a "background check" is?

I have to get yet another one when I take my reffing clinic. They are now starting to do background checks on all refs 18 years of age and older.

What all can be included on these things? Does it ever change? Is it like a driving record, that updates after it is clean for a while? Does a particular offense stay on longer than others?

I believe it is smart for any organization (like a reffing organization) to take these steps, but it is quite unfortunate that it is necessary. Society has gone to a bad place.