It Used to Matter

It used to matter to me that I was aware of the current popular video games. It used to matter to me that I was good at them. It used to matter to me that my car was faster than my friends cars. It used to matter to me that I won every soccer game I played. It used to matter to me that my paycheck was bigger than my needs.

It used to matter to me that people remember my name. It used to matter to me that people thought I had good things to say. It used to be important that people like me.

It used to matter to me that my life look good on the outside. It used to matter to me that I could portray it was good on the inside. It used to matter to me to build self-worth, however i defined that at the time.

It used to matter to me that i was good at cards. It used to matter to me to get good grades (okay, that one didn't ever really matter a lot). It used to matter that I have the right thing to say at the right time. It used to matter that people looked to me as a leader.

It used to matter to me that i had potential. It used to matter to me that i attain success. It used to matter to me to make myself into something.

Those things don't matter much to me anymore. I haven't spent much time thinking about any of those things in a long time.

I instead, find my worth in who God says I am, find my success in my obedience to His commands and His will. I find my dreams coming from Him, my desires dependent upon Him, my needs being met by Him.

I'd rather think about Him than about me. I'd rather you think about Him than about me. I'd rather you have a high view of Him than of me. I used to matter, to me. Instead now, i find that I matter to God. That I can achieve because of Him, not because of me.

God matters. Other's matter. I don't matter. What matters about me is that I become all God wants me to be. That is my job. The funniest thing i find about it, is that most of who I need to become relates in depth into showing other people that I don't matter, but that they do.