I keep burning my hand on the stove. Not literally, but spiritually.
No matter how many times someone tells me, or how many times I repeat in my head that my worth comes from God alone, I continue to find myself depressed. I find my worth limited, not because I believe that to be true, but because that is the impression I get from people, or at least the message I hear from them, regardless of their intent.
Someday I hope to be able to trust in my worth and where it truly comes from, but until that day is realized, I imagine that the burn will continue to hurt.
I'm desperately hurting now.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
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1 comments:
Depression is really hard to deal with. There are no easy surefire answers or cures. It's such a vicious cycle at some times that it's very hard to get through.
I wish there were simple answers but, there don't seem to be. A situation, comment, or action (or lack thereof) can have different effects from one day (hour, minute) to another that in addition to being hard to deal with, it's even harder to understand. Coping is even harder.
Then, it's so personal and, at least for me, so irrational that when I'm depressed for some reason, know I shouldn't be, but am anyway, then being depressed is even more exagerated.
Know that God, family and friends love you. We, the human side of the above, don't always recognize the effects of our words, actions and/or inactions. We want to help but don't know how, and do want to avoid platitudes that don't do any good. Never be afraid to ask for help, don't hold "it" in, lean on others for help. I'm glad to see you can discuss it on you blog. If you feel someone can help, don't hesitate to ask.
Having reread the blog, I made the "leap" from "hurting" to "depression". Bad jump/assumption on my part. You are right to know the difference between what people think, and what is true and matters to God is different. Please forgive those who make you hurt through their lack of understanding. Realize that you have inherent "worth" and we are much better off for knowing and loving you.
The asking for help part previously mentioned still applies.
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