I need to Barf

I've been listening to a lot of sermons lately.

Two of them made me want to barf, but for very different reasons.

The first, simply because they called it a sermon. It wasn't a sermon. They admitted from the start that they wouldn't be using the Bible and would instead just be giving good principles to live by, and that if you didn't even want to apply those principles to the church, you could apply them to whatever else you wanted.

They were good principles, a church would be doing a service to offer them in a class or seminar format, but to pretend it is a sermon, or a time of worship, or a time to hear from God, I thought was absurd.

The second is the reason I feel the need to blog today in the middle of the afternoon. I want to barf.

I'm not the greatest preacher, nor will I ever be. I'm not the greatest theologian, nor will I ever be. But at least I take both of those things seriously.

I really don't care if someone is polished as a communicator when offering a sermon. I think it helps, but should be secondary to actually discussing and applying the Scriptures. I also don't think someone has to be on the same wave length as me theologically, or interpretively over every Scripture to offer me things of value from God's word. I routinely listen to people who would vehemently disagree over certain theological and doctrinal positions.

BUT, at least they come to their conclusions with a reasonable sense of interpreting the things the scriptures actually say.

It is people who twist, ignore, or simply abuse Scripture that get me so frustrated.

I wasted 37 minutes this afternoon listening to one of those "sermons" and now I want to barf.

Please, if you are ever going to give a sermon, don't read 2 verses out of a 14 verse story and never discuss the actual story. Don't take those verses and pretend that they allegorically apply today in a way that makes zero scriptural sense.

Today's example:

Joshua 10:24-25

"When they had brought these kings to Joshua, he summoned all the men of Israel and said to the army commanders who had come with him, 'come here and put your feet on the neck of these kings.' So they came forward and placed their feet on their necks. Joshua said to them, 'Do not e afraid; do not be discouraged. Be strong and courageous. This is what the LORD will do to all the enemies you are going to fight.''

If these are the only two verses you read (not recommended) please don't proceed to tell me what THE FIVE KINGS of today are. I could've let you off the hook if you gave a message about what is needed to fight enemies with God's help. But you didn't go there.

You proceeded to think that in today's society, the five senses are the five kings we need to overcome (something I also think is preposterous). 37 minutes about putting my foot on the neck of smell, or taste, or touch, or sight, or sound. I want to barf.

I understand that some images in scripture often lead to allegorical use. I've hear numerous and may someday myself talk about the "storms of life" when preaching on the calming of the storm story in the gospels. I hope not to run to that first, as it isn't the point of that narrative, but my application time lends nicely to that image running again.

Where do the five kings become five senses? Can you even pretend that you are giving a biblical message? Does scripture actually mean anything?

Sorry for venting. It is just that i take the public proclomation of God's word very seriously. I hope that those of you who regularly hear sermons, online, or live, also spend enough time thinking for yourself about scripture, reading scripture, and talking to God that you can quickly realize when someone with a microphone is abusing their privelige of proclaiming God's word in a way that is doing more damage than good.

Bluahggheahhhhh!!! Now to wipe my mouth off and drink something far more refreshing.