Where is Faith Taking Me

Hebrews 12:2 states that Jesus is "...the author and perfecter of our faith..." a phrase I couldn't get out of my head this morning. It spawned one primary question, where is it that my faith may be headed?

If my faith is a story that Jesus is authoring, what narrative arc may it be taking? What do my past environment, my past experiences, and my current frame of understanding about faith and life say about where my faith may be headed?

This is my speculation on how Jesus may be authoring my faith...

I have been blessed beyond measure. Born into a family that because of luck, generosity, blessings, hard work, determination, and wisdom has, in my lifetime, never lived by the constraints finances. It isn't that we had all the money in the world, but me not getting what I wanted was never because we couldn't afford things. I had all the opportunity this world can offer to have a life lived in blessings. I still live amidst all of these blessings. I even understand that I am blessed so that I can be a blessing to others (God's initial call of his people given first to Abraham, but extending to each of us today).

Buy I have a sneaky suspicion, that my faith isn't being authored by Jesus to center on my blessings.

Experiences have also shown me some of my natural and supernatural gifts. A life of blessing and opportunity, combined with some areas of high function and some gifts given solely by my creator have fashioned me to often find myself in places of influence. It isn't that I find myself in places of power, but I've been able to play a role, for good and for bad, in the lives of others based on the authority they have given me to speak into their situations.

For much of my formal education, and current vocation, I spend significant amounts of time, thought, energy, and prayer hoping to make sure that I am using this part of myself wisely. I hope that in those situations, I can be a voice piece of God's Word being used by His Spirit to help others progress in their journey towards Him one step at a time.

For a long time, it was easy to think that this was the story Jesus was writing for me. That this is how he was authoring my faith. That his was how he was guiding me to interact with this world and its people.

I imagine this will always be a part of my life, maybe even the part that will have the most breadth of impact, but I've got a suspicion it isn't going to end up being the deepest part of my faith story.

I think the richest part of the faith that Jesus is writing for me will come in the struggles of life, but this may take some explaining.

Have you ever wished for seemingly negative things to happen to you? Wished you would get sick, or injured just to see who will respond, or to feel needed? Maybe I'm weird, but I used to think about these kinds of things a lot, and while my heart has changed (I care far less about feeling needed to random strangers) there is a part of me who thinks it will be the seemingly negative things where I will find out the most about my faith, and where others will hopefully see a beautifully clear picture of Jesus.

I understand my blessed past, my gifts given by the creator, even my current influence in many people's lives as something very unique. No one else will ever live my story. Jesus will not author their faith in the same ways as mine. While some may learn from and grow because of those parts of my story, I think the greatest depth will come in how He has been shaping me to view negative circumstances.

We share the negative circumstances. We may not all feel the blessings here, see the treasure here, be given authority here, but we will all undoubtedly deal with negative circumstances here. My guess is that I am being formed, being authored, being challenged, being changed to deal with these things as well as possible.

My hope grows each day with how I may deal with negative circumstances. I think through weird scenarios and how I would want my faith to respond. What if I lost my job? What if my gifts stop functioning? What if my brain stopped functioning, or I couldn't speak? What if (person that is closed to me) died? What if I needed to lay my life down for another? What if I never became a father? What if couldn't count on a next meal, found out I had a terminal disease, or found out you had a terminal disease?

I think through lots of these scenarios, hoping to be prepared that if any of them happen, or when some of them happen, that I will respond with faith. That I will see then, as I've seen as I look at all of my past, that God remains faithful. That while those circumstances may not be fun, that when I see how God works through them, my faith will be strengthened.

I have a hope, that someday, the deepest part of my faith will be seen in my unwavering loyalty to God. To knowing He is for me and not against me, and that circumstances don't ever adequately represent that when I let my emotions get involved. I hope that I can become the person who has joy in the midst of my sufferings and trials (James 1) because I know that they lead to better things.

I feel my faith being authored in this way. I have a very positive broad picture view of my own future sufferings. I hope to eventually live that positive view out within all of those individual sufferings as well. I hope to better control my attitude to reflect the faith that Jesus is authoring within me. The faith He authors is perfect afterall. I just hope not to get in His way.

Disclaimer: I don't believe that this means Jesus is actually authoring negative things to happen in my life, just the faith to respond to the negative things that will come because we all live in a fallen world.