Look what I can do!!

One of my favorite skits on television is from Mad T.V. They run a skit where a 40 year old man acts like a three year old child. It's priceless. His trademark line is to say "look what I can do" just before doing something that is ridiculous and childish and deserves no attention. It's a picture we get of lots of children.

Since I stayed up later than I should have, it is technically Father's Day right now. Time for me to reflect...

I never had to cry for attention in my house growing up. Any shouts of "look what I can do" were solely out of immaturity, not out of neglect. I struggle more to remember sporting events growing up where my parents weren't there than I do to remember them on the sidelines. They were staples at those events, often involved. This is Father's Day, so most of these reflections will be about my Father (sorry mom) but the same holds true for both parents. I can remember my dad being the umpire at baseball games I was playing in. I can remember him coaching my soccer team. I can picture all the cheap (and then broken) chairs that were experiments in sports watching. I can still hear my dad yelling at referees. I can picture him with the camera, making sure that I am in every picture. I can remember lunch afterwards. But I'm even luckier than that.

I don't just remember my dad on the sidelines, trying to relive a childhood through me. I can also remember playing catch in the back yard. Or him watching my brother and I spar for karate practice. I can remember batting cages, playing H.O.R.S.E., and learning how to shoot a gun. But I'm even luckier than that.

My dad didn't just entertain "machoness" in me. Something that I am very thankful of (as is my wife). I can't count the times I have heard the phrase "southern gentlemen" or watched and played gopher as my dad tried to fix something. I remember trips to the hardware stores (do they still have Builder's Square anywhere?) or to the car dealership. I can distinctly remember being "encouraged" (read properly disciplined) about lying. I remember acting emotionally hurt at times, but never actually questioning my Father's love. But I'm luckier than that.

There are many more memories that involve me, and my Father's treatment of me or my brother, and in fact I'll share my favorite later, but he also set an example for me to follow that is far beyond what most young boys get to see.

I remember gifts on mother's day, shopping for mom for xmas, always getting her more than she wants. I can remember flowers on anniversaries. I can see a family sitting down and eating together every night (I wish that was more common in this world). I remember hard work. I remember flowers on Valentines Day, because mom gets to brag at work about them, and we know it makes her smile. I can remember hearing stories from my mom, about tulips in college, and long distance relationships. It was always easy to hear the love in her voice when she remembered those things, even if I was just asking how I could impress a girl. I can still see the heartache he has in taking care of his Father. His quickness to get where he needs to be to help anyone out. I noticed when he took off work to help me with things, and that he'll never not answer his cell phone if he sees it is from me. I notice that he calls home when he is out of town, even if there isn't anything important to talk about. No one that I know can help but notice the physical and financial blessings that he worked so hard to provide for me. I've noticed not just the blessings, but the sacrifice behind them. I notice that he still beats himself up over stupid things about raising me. Things he wished he had done better. I also notice how laughable those notions are. I see a standard of commitment and sacrifice that embodies what love is, both in the way he treats his wife and in the way he treats others. I wish more people had that example.

I have one favorite thing I like to do with my dad. It doesn't have to do with money, or sports. It doesn't require a trip to the hardware store, or a shiny new toy. Usually just a glass of water will do. I truly just cherish the time and conversation. It's amazing to know, that whatever topic I have in mind is safe to talk about when we're together, most often in the hot tub. To spend an evening outside, listening to the announcer of an Eagan High School track meet, or the birds, or the young kids playing in their back yard and talking about life (or just sitting peacefully). I can remember talking about colleges, money, marriage, full-time jobs, sports, break-ups and everyday life. I can remember hearing stories about his life at my age or the occasional story about things mom "didn't know that he would tell me" about his life now, or his job. I've never felt judged there. I've always left encouraged, knowing that whatever decision I made on any issue would be supported, but not just by words. That my father would support me in all ways. I wish more kids grew up knowing these things.

I've made many decisions in life because I didn't want to upset my father. That often steered me away from decisions that would have been harmful. I wish more kids grew up with parents like that.

I'm sorry for people who have grown up with a father that doesn't resemble love. I'm sorry for all the other good things I can't think of at 1:00 in the morning. I wish I could make an exhaustive list. I'm sorry that this post doesn't flow well, and that phrases get repeated a lot throughout it. I'm sorry if you don't know my father and this was boring for you to read. I'm sorry if your prime life example (parents) make you think of negative things. I'm sorry you couldn't be in my situation.

It's comforting to know, that things aren't done. Dad is still watching. Not necessarily at every sporting event, but he'll likely read this post before you. I'm married and live away from home, but never doubt that my father wants to be active in my life. I'm the lucky one here. Sorry for the rest of you (except Jason I suppose).

Dad........"look what I can do!!"

I love you!

I wish that I had spent more time thinking through how to express that in words. My mind cut off when I started crying.

See you in the morning.

Happy Father's Day