If We Still Married Young

Tonight's voted topic was "A Story about your childhood (highly fictionalized)." I designed this topic as one that would likely force me to make up a story since I was only around for one consistent reader of this blogs childhood. Jason (that reader) voted for it. I'll leave it to your imaginations, or his confessions to decide which parts of this story are true (if any) and which parts are fiction (if any).

If We Still Married Young - A story of Jason's Childhood by Nathan Kemper.

Jason wasn't always the kind, considerate, helpful, chivalrous gentleman his father succeeded at raising him to be. Though his training was proper, he often rebelled to try and be as selfish as possible when it came to relationships with women. This, is one of those tales.

It was a typical day in Jason's kindergarten class. He had walked to Bard Elementary school with his friends Jimmy, Johnny, Joseph and Jesus. That isn't Jesus, like the Lord, don't be confused, the Lord would have had nothing to do with what was going to take place this day. No, "Jesus" must be read with its correct Hispanic accent here.

Jason stumbled into class a couple minutes after the bell had rung. He walked in like he owned the place. Red hair does that to a young child. Not because of its uniqueness, but because of the control it exerts over the lady folk. Jason took his seat in the back row, claiming the control of all the rebellion that would go on, he had placed himself in the chairs circled by Anna, Amber, Amy, Angela and Alyssa.

They swooned as he walked in. They had not yet decided that boys were icky, at least not the boy with doll like red hair. They waited with hearts skipping beats, hoping just to touch him. Luckily for them, today was Thursday, and every Thursday, Mrs. McGillicuddy would lead the children in a craft project that allowed for independent and unsupervised movement. Jason enjoyed these days the most.

As quickly as the paste jar had been opened, and Jimmy had begun licking the glue stick, Jason had grabbed Amber's hand and proceeded to lead her under the desk. As they made it to the floor, Jason opened with his usual line.

"Want to run your fingers through my hair?"

Amber couldn't resist. She began grabbing his head, running her 5 year old fingers through his hair until Jason found her eyes to be lost deep in his. At this point, Jason leaned in and pecked her gently on the lips to test the waters.

The childlike kissing continued, not until they were broken up, but until Alyssa also wanted to rub her fingers through Jason's hair. And so he established it. A revolving door of kindergarten girls proceeding to meet Jason under his chair for minutes of kissing while they were supposed to be making crafts.

Ultimately, craft time would end. Jason would arise from the depths of the desk in the back row and proceed to pack up to head home. It wasn't even time for lunch yet, but Jason had already accomplished all he intended to at school that day. He would squeak by the rest of the afternoon until he was released to walk back home.

To this day, if you look through the childhood arts and crafts created by the Kemper children, you will notice a void of Jason's kindergarten year.

It took dad until age 6 to train Jason in the proper way to treat a lady. If in today's culture, children still married young, Jason might have had many wives, but no doubt, all their names would have started with an "A."